I'm Forbidden For You
by pinktron
Summary: Sherlock Holmes and James Moriarty faked their deaths together nearly 3 years ago. They had run away with the hope of having a new life together, but for one of them it wasn't what they were expecting. Now Sherlock is back from the dead, and he's having to face his demons. Warnings inside... rated M for safety!
1. Mama I'm In Love With A Criminal

**A/N: So, yeah I wrote a thing! Yay! This was actually started about 3 weeks back and it had been intended as a one-shot for my "Diary of 221B" drabble series. This does actually have mild spoilers for The Empty Hearse (in a later chapter). So, if you are trying to avoid spoilers please come back to read AFTER you've seen the episode! I would hate to ruin it for ya! Please enjoy this Sheriarty fanfic! I deff enjoyed writing it!**

**-Pinktron**

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"Where do you think you're going?!" James stood at the top of the steps and looked down to his boyfriend below. He had just finished spitting out every cuss word imaginable and now he was at the end of his rope. He just couldn't stop screaming.

"Home…" Sherlock's voice was no more than a whisper, but James heard it as if it had been screamed right back at him. "I can't do this anymore… I can't…" The once great detective no longer knew who he was. He had simply become the shell of a man covered in bruises and marks, becoming thinner by the day. He just couldn't handle it. He needed to finally leave. The life he had first imagined when going through with the plan was noting capered to the life he had lived the last 2 years. The reality of a relationship with James Moriarty was nothing but abuse and torment, why had he expected anything different? He had let his emotions get the better of him for a moment and time; and he got too caught up in the game.

"Home?" James laughed that cruel laugh he always did when he though his boyfriend was being stupid. He came down the spiral staircase and made a show of shoving Sherlock up against the wall he had been clinging to. "This is home." H smiled and grabbed the detective's jaw in his hand. "Sherlock, baby." He whispered the names in his sweetest voice; the voice that promised pain and suffering when the argument was said and done. "They've moved on... all of them. Even your dear John. You left him for me… you left his heart on the ground, do you ever think he would really take you back? Even as a friend? He's moved onto just like Molly, Lestrade, your own brother. He's gone and got himself a job... gotten married... everyone. Is. Gone…" Moriarty smirked again as he whispered the  
words in Sherlock's ear. He watched the man shudder at his breath and his face break with the words. He let himself cherish the moment that his fingernails broke the alabaster skin around the detective's jaw. He cherished the feel of the blood.

Sherlock felt himself getting weaker and he knew that this was the last time. That if he was ever going to do it he had to do it now. If he didn't; who knows if he'd ever get out. "You've pushed those buttons too many times, James. Not this time!" He actually shouted the last sentence. He wrenched himself out of Moriarty's grip and ducked under the shorter man's arm. "Goodbye…" He threw one last look at the abusive lover he had held onto for three years. He hoped the man couldn't see the near fear in his eyes; emotions were hard to keep at bay anymore. It's hard to be stoic when you're being beaten nearly lifeless at least twice a week. He breathed heavily and slammed the door to the large house, letting Moriarty's face simply become a ghost. He stood on the porch in nothing but his classic suit, jacket, and scarf; he didn't even have any shoes or socks. He didn't have a car, money, or food. He had left all his belongings in the large house, and he couldn't go back in now. So, he turned and ran. This was the only way he was going to get home. No matter what… he now needed to go back

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It was 3 am when John heard the knock on the door. He slipped out of his wife's warm embrace and stumbled, half asleep, to the sound. If anyone bothered to skip the main door and come straight up the stairs it was obvious it was someone important; probably Lestrade. He groggily pulled open the door a greeting on his lips, but it died and he fell silent as he looked upon the figure in the doorway.

"John…" Sherlock… his Sherlock… Dead Sherlock stumbled forward and literally almost fell into John's arms. However, he caught himself and stood up against the door frame.

"Sherlock?" The doctor took a step back completely dumbstruck. "Mary!" He shouted in the direction of the bedroom hoping to rouse his sleeping wife. This wasn't possible... not after all these years.

The dead man fell forward again and got a grip on John's shirt. "John… sorry... so sorry." There were tears literally streaming down his face and he appeared out of breath. The man was obviously beaten, bleeding, and ready to pass out. His feet were a bluish color; telling John that he had run or walked many miles without socks or shoes.

Pushing down his fear, anxieties, and straight up confusion John guided the detective to the couch. He laid the man down and sighed. "What have you done to yourself, Sherlock Holmes?" As the man groaned he stroked the black curls of the person he'd thought he had lost forever. "You really did a number on yourself this time." He watched as Sherlock's eyelids fell and listened as his breathing evened out.

John put many blankets on top of his friend, and rubbed his temple. He lit the fire and then sat back in his armchair, simply staring. As soon as his friend was better he WOULD be prying all the answers to his questions from the man's mouth. He let himself drift out of consciousness hoping it had all just been a dream…

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**A/N: So, that's the first chapter! The next chapter will be a flashback type situation. From this point on I WILL be exploring issues such a depression, self-harm, drug use and domestic abuse. If any of that might trigger you I request that you please remove yourself from this fic. I do have other non-triggering fics on my profile. **

**-Pinktron**


	2. I'm Sleeping With A Criminal

**A/N: So, second chapter! Please enjoy! Warning: This fic contains drug use, self-harm, depression, abuse, mentions of sex, and domestic abuse. Please consider yourself warned. Characters belong to Gatiss, Moffat, Thompson, and Vertue as well as BBC One and PBS Masterpiece. This is solely a story written for my enjoyment and has no bearing on the show. Everything is based upon the ACD Sherlock Holmes stories… (Just my fancy disclaimer so I don't get in trouble… cuz that would suck…) I know these are short chapters but I couldn't link them in a one-shot. I'm hoping to make them longer as I go. Please enjoy!**

**-Pinktron**

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_"Daddy loves a little fire, Sherlock." Moriarty laid his head on the consulting detective's naked chest._ "_You and me… we have fire…" He looked up his eyes meeting with icy blue ones. "Come with me… we can turn this world into ash. You and me… the detective and the criminal. Quite a scandal don't you think?"_

_ Sherlock looked down at the man in his bed. He had woken up thinking it was a mistake. Was Moriarty trying to change his mind? He could play the game, he thought to himself. He always played the game well… "Give me some incentive…"_

_ "I have a house…" Moriarty rolled off the detective's chest and rolled to face him in the bed. "It's large and away from the public eye, with more than enough space for two men. It's a place where we could create and solve crimes all day long… and at night… we could do so much more." The consulting criminal had pressed himself closer to Sherlock with each word until his lips were literally touching the other man's ear. "Just think about it. I could always use another pet." He removed himself from Sherlock's side and made his way to the bathroom. _

_ Within minutes it was as if the entire night and early morning had never occurred. James Moriarty had quickly gathered his clothes and belongings that had been in the room and all over the flat. The only evidence he left were the bruises and cuts littering the consulting detective's body. Did he mind? Of course not. It was all part of the game… just a game… or was it more? John never knew, and never suspected. It was hours before he even returned to the flat._

John felt sick. "How many times?" He locked eyes with Sherlock, and grabbed his wife's hand for support. Mary had finally gotten up and had screamed when she realized the detective lying on her couch was the same one that resided in picture frames throughout the flat.

"How many times?" Sherlock repeated the question, a groggy sound to his voice.

"How many times was he here, Sherlock?" He felt dirty just knowing that it had happened just once, in his flat. They had housed a dangerous criminal, and his best friend had been sleeping with said criminal. It was enough to drive anyone mad.

Sherlock seemed to finally understand the question, and shifted amongst his pile of blankets. "He came to stay the night a total of 10 times; each while you were on dates or visiting your sister. I stayed at his home more than 20. Those nights I went off alone… I was almost always with him." The detective broke eye contact with his friend. "We had grown so close to each other, John. You and I and he and I. It was two very contradictory relationships, and I had to hide him from you. I can only imagine what you would have done."

"I would have turned him into the police!" John yelled. "Or I would have shot him myself! He was DANGEROUS!"

"Of course he was!" Sherlock shouted right back at his blogger. "Why do you think I look like this?!" He gestured to his whole body which showed his face, neck, and arms were covered in bruises and scratches.

John shook his head. "So you did leave with him. After everything you did leave with him; it wasn't to get away from him."

"Yes."

Mary leaned forward curiosity in her eyes. "I know I don't have emotional attachment to this but… how did you do it?"

Sherlock sighed, trying not to give into the temptation to cry as emotions were worthless in this very tense situation…

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**A/N: So… hopefully that's ok with you all! The next chapter will be up shortly, and will deal with how he faked it and all that good stuff. Most of those facts will be based off of "The Empty Hearse…" So, see you later and please leave a review!**


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